Held in cities like Lucknow and Kanpur, the “exam” saw thousands of desperate aspirants sprint, shove, and nearly WWE-slam their way into test centres. Forget written tests - just reaching the exam hall was half the battle.

Eyewitnesses described scenes resembling a flash mob crossed with a political rally: human pyramids, collapsing gates, and a free-for-all that could only be called The Hunger Games: Guards Edition.

One candidate was overheard yelling, "Bhaiya, agar ye hi training hai toh main pass ho gaya!" Apparently, this test was meant to recruit security guards - you know, the people who prevent chaos.

Irony died somewhere between the third flying chappal and someone using their admit card as a shield.

Vishal Mega Mart has not officially commented, though sources suggest they're considering a new policy: "If you make it in alive, you’re hired." On a serious note, this chaos reflects the grim job crisis facing India’s youth. When thousands show up for low-paying guard jobs, the real security issue isn’t at the malls - it's in our economy.

Until then, future applicants might want to bring running shoes, elbow pads, and a backup career plan.